Computer Advertising Terms Defined (Humor)

Have you ever read those marketing terms in technogoly advertisements and wondered what they actually meant. When this list reveals the truth about what these terms really mean:

• NEW: Different color from previous design.
• ALL NEW: Parts are not interchangeable with previous design.
• EXCLUSIVE: Imported product.
• UNMATCHED: Almost as good as the competition.
• FOOLPROOF OPERATION: No provision for adjustments.
• ADVANCED DESIGN: The advertising agency doesn't understand it.
• IT'S HERE AT LAST: Rush job. Nobody knew it was coming.
• FIELD TESTED: Manufacturer lacks test equipment.
• HIGH ACCURACY: Unit on which all parts fit.
• FUTURISTIC: No other reason why it looks the way it does.
• REDESIGNED: Previous flaws fixed: we hope.
• DIRECT SALES ONLY: Factory had a big argument with distributor.
• YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT: We finally got one to work.
• BREAKTHROUGH: We finally figured out a use for it.
• MAINTENANCE FREE: Impossible to fix.
• MEETS ALL STANDARDS: Ours, not yours.
• SOLID-STATE: Heavy as anything!
• HIGH RELIABILITY: We made it work long enough to ship it.